4 Month Birthday

I’ve talked about this before, and probably will again, so try to bear with me.

Yesterday was little B’s 4 month well visit. He got a “perfect” from a doctor and there was even a “you’re doing a great job” for me to enjoy. (Oh, how I love parental praise) He weighs a whopping 16.3 lbs and is 26 1/4″ tall. (Birth stats were 9.4 lbs, 21.5″) He’s a large, healthy baby, we got the go-ahead for solids, and I’m so proud of him and everyday I’m happy to be his Momma.

A thought occurred to me last night as I posted the expected “4 month birthday” photo with his current stats. I am not the only one responsible for his wonderful growth. I’ve posted before how grateful I am to his Milky Momma, but never really thought about just how much we owe to her. This wonderful lady (let’s call her J) donates milk in whatever amount and however often he needs it. We’ve picked up twice so far and my freezer is constantly full of liquid gold.

I say a silent thank you to J with every bag of milk I thaw, especially lately as my battle with supply is finally coming to an end (and not in my favor). This is something I’m struggling with, and I struggle every day. Thoughts that cross my mind;

I’m an inadequate mother.
I’m a failure.
I’m not trying hard enough.
Why can’t I feed my own child?
What will I do if J can no longer donate to us?

Every time I have one of these thoughts, I have to talk myself down. I remind myself, “There is milk in the bottle, there is cloth on the bum, clothes on the back, toys on the mat. Ben is happy, healthy, and growing strong.” This is usually followed by a, “Yeah, but I’m not feeding him.” Where I remind myself I did not continue to feed him formula that his body couldn’t process. I reached out! I found multiple milk-sharing organizations! I not only found them, I found the courage to post my need! I found the time and courage to meet with women I had never met to collect the milk my son so desperately needed. I did what I had to do to feed him without his little body being in constant pain. I am a good mother.

And not all the good parts of milk-sharing have been for little B. I honestly believe I’ve developed a nice friendly relationship with both women who have provided for him. I have two more Mommies to talk to, to depend on. Being able to be this friendly and close has helped me to trust in them more completely, and they definitely deserve all the thanks I can give to them.

Do you have special women that contribute positively to you or your child’s life?

Have Infant, Will Travel.

Traveling with an infant is a trial.

The packing alone is astonishing. We were only out of town for one night, yet I swear I packed half of my house.

Here was my list for overnight with an infant:
– Bottle warmer
– Bottles
– Breast milk supply for 24 hours (I took 40 oz to be safe)
– Small cooler and several ice packs to store the milk. (Before coming home since the ice packs had melted we filled the cooler with hotel ice twice. Once last night and once this morning.)
– Rock and play sleeper. (We co-sleep, but own a king-size bed. I knew our hotel room was a queen and I was worried we wouldn’t fit. We did, though uncomfortably.)
– 4 outfits (just in case
– 1 set pajamas (1 night)
– Diapers (My husband didn’t want to cloth since we’d have to drive 6+ hours with dirty dipes in the car.)
-Wipes
-Bath essentials in case of a blowout
– Wet bag in case of a blowout (He only leaks in disposables!)
– The blanket he uses every night to sleep.
– Binkies.
– Toys.
– Tylenol & Gas drops

All of that was on the list, and I still don’t think I quite named everything I took. For one, I took soooo many diapers. Way too many. At least they are more compact to pack than my fluff stash.

The packing aside, the trip was something else. I posted yesterday about my son being difficult while I tried to pack due to his routine being interrupted. His upset mood continued through the day. What is normally a 2 1/2 hour drive turned into a good 3 1/2 hours (after taking out the time that we spend stopping for dinner). He DID let me eat at the restaurant, but while I waited for our food I changed him and took him for a lengthy walk around the attached gift shop.

My son, who normally enjoys car rides, did not enjoy our ride yesterday. I had to ride in the backseat with him for most of our trip. He only slept for 30 minutes of the ride, and we stopped several times to change barely wet diapers because he refuses to sit in them for any length of time (hopefully he potty trains easy!).

When we arrived at our hotel (finally) he was still upset. It wasn’t the room he knows, the bed he’s slept with us in for the past 8 weeks (we didn’t begin co-sleeping until he was 3 weeks old), and we made the mistake of putting him in his rock-n-play when he initially went to sleep. He woke up 10 minutes later. Our neighboring room was also unfortunately loud. We could hear raucous laughter, banging, and their t.v. for a good portion of the time we were trying to get him to sleep.

After giving up on the sleeper, my husband and I compromised. We gave up having a comfortable amount of sleeping space in order to sleep at all. As a parent, that’s what you do. Or at least, what WE do. We are a perfect example of parents who will and do everything to make our baby comfortable. As attachment parents, or freestyle parents, we believe we aren’t spoiling our baby. He’s only 11 weeks old (tomorrow)! He is incapable of manipulation, he lacks communication. We believe he cried and wanted us because he was in a strange place, in a strange bed. I am okay with giving in, because I believe establishing this trust now will help him trust us later when we say, “Just a minute”. We want him to believe that in a minute help will come.

Our return trip today went much smoother. We made it home in 2 hours, 15 minutes! He slept the whole ride. I believe this is because we established trust yesterday. He knew that we would stop driving, and that Mommy and Daddy were going to hold him, cuddle him, and cover him in kisses.

 

 

He woke up allll smiles today!